Sick Baby

I know that compared to many kids, Caroline has not had many illnesses. Maybe that is why I still feel so lost when she is sick. I doubt it, though. I think that you never get used to your baby being sick -- no matter how old that baby is or how many times she has been sick. Right now, we're battling Caroline's second fever in 2.75 years. The first came on right after a morning playgroup. I called and got a dr. appt. immediately, and he couldn't find anything wrong and wrote it off as teething. That was, oh, right about two years ago, I think!

Motrin seems to be a miracle drug -- for five hours. Then the lethargy and fever, 102+, return. Early this morning, Caroline told us she spun around too much and hurt her head. I guess that translates to dizziness and headache. She doesn't complain of pain anymore, but the fever is still around, and she is not herself by any means! She's heard me describe her symptoms numerous times today to friends and family via phone. And I've offered her a cool washcloth for her head a few times. This evening, she told me that she needed to go to the doctor tomorrow. And she said, "I need a washcloth for my head. I sick." (But when I brought a wet washcloth, she balked. "NO! DRY!!")

I am not prepared for her to have to have her first dose of antibiotics, yet!! She's not even three years old! Her little body doesn't need to start down that path just yet. I sure miss that dried up human milk supply that served us so well, so incredibly, for two plus years!!

She really isn't complaining much. Just resting and sleeping a lot with that high fever. That's what her body is supposed to do, right? The fever fights off the infection, and the sleep and rest repair her little system.


Get well, big, baby girl!

Updates from Doctor

I had my six-week post-miscarriage follow-up with my doctor Friday. I went in nervous, unsure what she'd tell me, but I left loving my doctor even more! The cause of the baby's death was hypoxia. His umbilical cord was far, far too small for adequate circulation and that (I assume) caused syncytial knots to develop in the placenta. The autopsy noted that those usually occur in pre-eclamptic mothers but that I had not had high blood pressure. A google search showed that the increased syncytial knots also occur in smoking mothers (which I am not, of course). I draw the conclusion that both of those things, pre-eclampsia and smoking, hinder the circulation which causes the syncytial knots. In this case, the cord caused the poor circulation which caused the knots. My doctor had no explanation for the small cord. She said this was just something that happened. And that it shouldn't happen again. She said I can get pregnant again whenever I want. She'll send me to a high-risk OB for a detailed ultrasound when I am 10-13 weeks along next time. That doctor will have a copy of the autopsy report so he knows exactly what to look for. I commented that there's nothing that could be done anyway, and my doctor assured me that the scan would be for my peace of mind. I ran through my list of the "sins" I committed this pregnancy -- diet coke, deli meat, a sip of wine at communion. She assured me that nothing I did caused the miscarriage. I knew that already, but it was good to hear it from my doctor.

Throughout my pregnancy with Caroline, I was reassured by the experiences my doctor had with her own pregnancy -- one year before mine. She had severe nausea, too, and took Zofran. She developed PUPPPS and assured me that even though there was nothing I could do then, it would go away after I delivered. This time, the shared stories are of her miscarriage a few months ago. She told me that she starting "trying again" right away, but it did take a few months to get pregnant again. She told me how she was worried about how she'd handle herself emotionally as the due date of the pregnancy she lost approached. She said that date is approaching, and she hadn't even thought about it until she started talking to me.

I knew "he" was Aaron!

As soon as Kate resisted holding Aaron when she and Claire were hanging clothes, I knew that Aaron was the baby she was raising back in the future. I told John, and he asked "Why would she be raising Aaron?" Oh, dear, dear husband. That is the question one could ask all day long about this crazy show. "Why?" Why Why Why???

Workin' Out Update

I didn't hire the personal trainer, but I'm still sticking with working out. My motivation is still high. I'm not seeing the weight fall off of me or anything, but I do feel a bit less jiggly. And when I'm not feeling especially motivated, my free trainer (Caroline) motivates me to get to the gym by um...begging. Mommy, let's go to your gym...Mommy when are we going to your gym?...When we go to your gym, I'm going to watch John the Builder. (Now, I can read, so I know the show is actually called BOB, the Builder.) But, that TV and that huge supply of dvds motivates my little trainer to motivate me to get to the gym.

I've got a jacket

And I don't mean for cool weather. If you watch enough Law & Order, you know what a jacket is.

I got a ticket a few weeks ago for "disregarding a red light." You know you all do it, too. The light was red; I was turning right. No cars were coming. I YIELDED! Well, yes officer, I realize red means stop, not yield.

I was in the City of Cedar Park, and rather than mail the ticket and my request for defensive driving, which would require a trip to a Notary, I just went to the Municipal Court in person. It's right by the Cedar Park Library, which Caroline and I are at weekly. I was shocked when the clerk came out with a white folder, my "jacket," with my personal information filled out on the front. Shocked, I said, "I have a file?!" The clerk assured me white is good. If it was colorful, that'd be bad.

Now, don't you all wonder what color your jacket is?

Lenten Reflections

Not deep reflections--I'm the mother of a two-year-old!

I have a box set of books that I found on paperbackswap. Normally, these books are on the our bookshelves in the dining room, and Caroline can sit through a reading of the full set of twelve and want more. I chose two -- Stories Jesus Told and Miracles of Christ -- to put on our seasonal table. Well, Caroline, my little OCD-child, KNOWS WHERE THEY BELONG. After three days of putting them on the seasonal shelf only to have her put them back in the boxed set on the shelf in the dining room where they normally belong, I gave up and decided to leave them. We have other books on the seasonal table.

Since I'm still waiting on that Lenten Story Board to ship from amazon, I have made the Heifer Project Bank the center of our Lenten table. I made it into more of a Montessori-type activity. I taped a sample coin of a quarter, dime, nickle, and penny to a card as an example. Then I put those same coins on a plate. Caroline matches each coin as she puts it into her ark bank. We started with just the four coins, but now I can put a handful of miscellaneous coins in and she can choose the right denomination.

Along those book lines, I ordered a Lenten coloring book off of amazon for $1.25. It arrived last week in a bundled set of ten coloring books packaged together with a sticker that said "Do not separate!" I guess somebody in the shipping department follows directions a bit too well. So, I have ten coloring books on Lent.

After music class on Friday, the first Friday of Lent, Caroline and I headed to the mall. I asked her what she wanted for lunch -- maybe peanut butter and jelly or a grilled cheese. She said, "Chick-a-Lay" (that's Chick-Fil-A). I reminded her that we don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent. She replied, "Yeah, just pancakes."

OK, this one is deep, or at least a tear-jerker. We tie a new ribbon onto our blessing tree each night during Lent, praying for a different person each night. The first night, John wasn't home, so Caroline and I decided to pray for him. The next night, we were all here, but she decided it was the night to pray for mommy. She said something along these lines: "God bless mommy. Keep her safe. Make her not be sad." Oh, she is so astute! She often tells me that I won't be sad when there's another baby in my tummy. This is not something we've ever explicitly spelled out for her, but she just gets it! (And honestly, I'm not crying all the time or anything! She just hears people every day ask me how I'm doing and such. My standard response is that we are fine, sad, but fine. She hears everything, this girl!)

Lenten Traditions 2008 and Week One

Last year, we began a few traditions for our family's Lenten observances. We'll continue some of those this year and add some more discussion and instruction for Caroline. We'll continue our Blessing Tree (a tree branch that we add a ribbon to each evening while saying a blessing for a loved one), the ark bank for the Heifer Project, and the Wednesday Night Lenten Dinners at church. I'm adding in weekly stories for Caroline, stories of Jesus's life and teachings as well as a few crafts.

I have ordered a story board on Jesus's Life that I'm pretty excited about using over the 40+ days of Lent. It has not shipped yet, though, so I probably won't start it until Week Two or Three.

Week One of Lent:
-- Ash Wednesday -- use black finger paint to paint ashes on a picture of face
-- set up table for Lent (purple cloth, stories of Jesus's life, blessing tree, and ark bank)
-- plant a bulb to watch what happens between now and Easter

Shrove Tuesday

Fat Tuesday. Mardi Gras!

Since the day was set to be a busy one, we started the morning with our holiday activity -- mixing colors and painting a Mardi Gras mask. We mixed yellow and blue to make green, mixed blue and red to make purple, and added yellow to the palate to round out the Mardi Gras colors. Then Caroline painted her mask. As she did, I talked about Mardi Gras being one last celebration before Lent begins, that Lent is a period of reflection that starts tomorrow. I told her tonight we'd have pancakes and a party at church.

And she mentioned that people will say, "Oh, you are so cute!" to her when she wears her mask and dress. She knows. :-) I made her a Mardi Gras dress -- I really am getting better at it -- to wear tonight.

LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ!